Career advice
How to be a good ally for your LGBT+ colleague
Copenhagen Pride takes place in August every year, covering the whole city in rainbow flags. The annual event is an essential part of the debate on equality and entails both a celebration of diversity and a focus on the challenges that still exist within the field.
Many companies are increasingly choosing to highlight their support of the LGBT+ agenda during Pride week, but how do you become a good ally for your LGBT+ colleagues all year round, and not just during Pride? We have spoken to a member of the community, and together with Emilie Ballegaard, who works with IDA's diversity effort, we have listed a number of good pieces of advice. But first, let's take stock of equality in the Danish labour market.
Why have a diversity agenda?
Denmark have come a long way in terms of equality in the past few years. The new parental leave rules from 2024 allow LGBT+ families to share the 13 transferable weeks between up to four parents, and more companies are expected to introduce a plan to work with ESG (Environment, social and government). In 2022, the Ministry of Equality also launched an action plan: "Plads til forskellighed i fællesskabet (Space for diversity in the community)" , in which they propose a number of initiatives in 5 main areas to promote well-being and equality for LGBT+ persons.
Although a number of good initiatives have been launched, studies indicate that Denmark is far from the finish line when it comes to diversity efforts. A report published by LGBT+ Denmark and the Boston Consulting Group shows, for example, that 81% of LGBT+ employees have experienced or witnessed discriminatory behaviour at work within the past two years. It paints a picture of a labour market that continues to require a targeted focus on inclusive measures.
According to Christina Ottsen, PhD, and expert in diversity and inclusive management, and Sara Louise Muhr, professor of Diversity & Leadership at CBS, a diverse workplace is not only a social responsibility, but also a strategic advantage. In the book Biasbevidst Ledelse (Bias-conscious management) Ottsen and Muhr focus on the advantages of having a diverse workforce and how it can strengthen the company in three specific areas:
- Financially – By creating a better bottom line through different ideas
- Strategically – By using the full range of the talent pool being trained
- Politically – The political social responsibility you take when you include several types of employees
(Ottsen & Muhr, 2021)
There are therefore many good reasons to take an interest in the issue of diversity at your workplace, as in addition to better employee well-being, it can contribute to innovative solutions and lift the company as a whole.
What is LGBT+?
LGBT+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. The plus covers other minorities in terms of gender identity and sexual orientation.
- Source: FIU equality: 8 steps to an LGBT+ equal workplace. (in Danish)
LGBT+ person on the labour market
Oliver Madsen is 27 years old and works as a full stack developer at KMD. As a homosexual man, Oliver has had many diverse experiences of being an LGBT+ person in a workplace; both positive and negative. He is a clear advocate of talking openly about things, and is also happy to share his experiences as an LGBT+ person if people are curious:
"Being homosexual is part of who I am, and I've always tried to talk openly about it. I see it somewhat as my duty to involve and inform others about my world and how it works. Therefore, my approach is also that if there is something that people are in doubt about or are curious about, then they are always welcome to ask. But it's important to remember that there may be others who don't quite feel the same way and aren't as open," says Oliver.
Individual limits
Precisely the point that everyone has different limits can be difficult to navigate. Because what can/can't you ask if you are curious? Oliver believes that it is a matter of judgment from person to person, and if you are in doubt, ask:
“My best advice is to talk to the person about where the line is. What are you allowed to ask about, and what is best not to? It is very individual. You can't just draw a line in the sand and say: here are the do's and don'ts in relation to questions. Therefore, you have to have an open-minded dialogue with the person you are talking to," he says.
Colleagial support if you experience transgressive behaviour
As previously mentioned, Oliver has received both positive and negative reactions to being an open LGBT+ person. A shared characteristic of the good experiences is that the conversation has typically taken place on a one-on-one basis in an informal environment and has also been characterised by respect and openness both ways:
“There are some green areas around our office building, where we sometimes go for walks. It is often there people have asked more about my life, e.g. when did I know that I was gay, etc. Things that can be very personal for someone, but which I also think it is natural that people are curious about. I'm fine talking about it, because people typically ask because they have an experience they want to share themselves," says Oliver.
Unfortunately, Oliver has also had a few unfortunate experiences at work. This typically happens when alcohol is involved and people lose track of what is acceptable to ask, he says. Personally, Oliver is usually good at speaking up and often meets the transgressive comments with a cheeky remark. Once, however, the jargon became son unacceptable that a colleague stepped in and defended Oliver:
"I have had some unfortunate experiences at a workplace where there were some jokes that crossed the line. Here, it was actually one of my colleagues who reacted first, grabbed our manager and told them about the unacceptable behaviour. In retrospect, I can see that it is a bad idea to accept such comments, but as an LGBT+ person, you often build up a shield where bad experiences bounce off, because you are used to hearing so much."
Oliver emphasises the importance of the colleague becoming his ally in the situation in question, and encourages others to react to inappropriate behaviour as soon as they notice it:
"It felt great that a colleague stepped in and defended me. It really means a lot. So if you see something that is unacceptable work behaviour, react to it and ask the colleague at the receiving end if that person is ok – the sooner the better.”
What can you do as a colleague and workplace?
Oliver's best advice for creating an inclusive work environment for LGBT+ persons involves increased visibility and clear codes of ethics. This means that he, as a minority, feels both seen and included:
"When I started on the labour market, I felt very alone. I wondered if there were others like me. According to the statistics, I knew there were, but who were they? One way that you as a manager and colleague can create a good working environment is by showing that you support the agenda. This year, for example, we got keyhangers in rainbow colors at my workplace, and I think that was extremely nice. When I walk down the hall now and can see both colleagues and managers walking with these keyhangers, I feel completely proud inside. It makes me feel accepted and at home in my workplace.”
Based on Oliver Madsen's statements and in collaboration with Emilie Ballegaard, who is involved in IDA's diversity effort, we have drawn up 5 good tips on how you as a colleague can become a good ally for your LGBT+ colleague.
This is how you are a good ally for your LGBT+ colleague
- Ask questions and respect different boundaries
Most LGBT+ people are ready to enter into a dialogue, as long as you approach the conversation with respect. Remember that boundaries vary, so be respectful if there are topics your colleague doesn't want to talk about. You can possibly start by asking if it's ok to ask a personal question and if there are things you should rather not ask about. - Choose the right time and place
If you want to ask about your LGBT+ colleague's life, make sure it happens in a safe space. It may be a good idea to have the conversation 1:1, possibly in the form of a 'walk and talk' or in a secluded place at the workplace. In this way, it is also easier for your colleague to speak up if something becomes too personal. Avoid starting the conversation at the end of a staff party or similar, as this can make it more difficult to feel each other's boundaries when you are under the influence of alcohol. - Use inclusive language
It can be difficult to navigate the many different concepts and terms that exist within gender identity and sexual orientation. If in doubt, ask your colleagues how they want to be addressed. You can support your LGBT+ colleagues by helping each other remember the correct pronouns, and possibly new names if, for example, a colleague transitions from one gender to another. We recommend LGBT+ Denmark's dictionary, where you can learn more about terms and terms used about and by LGBT+ people. - Create a good psychosocial working environment
In addition to the pressure that can otherwise arise in a workplace, LGBT+ people can experience so-called ' minority stress' . Therefore, pay attention to whether your company has guidelines for equality when it comes to gender and sexuality, and talk to with HR, working environment representatives and union representatives about what you are doing to support the LGBT+ agenda. If you witness behaviour that crosses the line, react immediately, speak up and support the offending colleague. If the initial measures have not worked, you can help involve management and HR in order to stop the behaviour. - Search for knowledge
Search for knowledge via the internet, leaflets, books etc. LGBT+ Denmark is a good place to start, and at the bottom of this article we have collected a number of useful links if you want to learn more about the diversity agenda. By being curious about LGBT+ as a colleague and learning about it, you are already well on your way to becoming a better ally.
Sources and further info:
In English:
In Danish: