Young engineer: ‘I thought it was just me that was incompetent’

An IDA member’s confessions about management

'You should not get sick from going to work. That is the purpose of the working environment law we have in Denmark. It’s that simple,' explains Stephen Holst, who is an independent working environment and management consultant and co-author of the book An Employee's Confessions on Management [En medarbejders bekendelser om ledelse], which was published in the summer of 2024.

With a couple of prolific cases in the past year, the topic of working environment has become front page news in Denmark, often accompanied by intense debates on social media. Stephen Holst welcomes the growing focus on what constitutes a good working environment. 

In short, all companies in Denmark are legally required to have a working environment representative and to conduct a workplace assessment (APV) at least every three years.

You can read here in Christian's story that unfortunately this is not always adhered to. Christian is not his real name, as he wants both himself and the company to remain anonymous, but it is important for him to tell his story about a psychologically unhealthy work environment. The editorial team is aware of Christian's and the company's names.

Silence and an experience one would rather just forget

As a young intern, Christian experiences that a team leader scolds him for making an incorrect calculation. During the conversation, the team leader shouts so loudly that the entire office can hear it. Christian and the team leader are not sitting behind a closed door, but simply in a smaller department with an open connection to the rest of the office.

Christian himself feels like he is being lured into a trap. It is the team leader himself who has told him how the calculation should be made. But it is also an unpleasant experience to be exposed in front of colleagues as someone who cannot figure out his tasks.

In the situation, Christian panics, takes the blame and generally turns the experience inward: 'I thought it was just me that was incompetent and couldn't figure it out.'

Christian doesn't listen to his gut feeling that it's not okay to be yelled at. He just wants to forget about it, move on and show that he's skilled enough: 'I still want to impress, because I'm still young and new to the whole thing.'

Christian doesn't talk to anyone about it, and no colleagues mention it to him, even though they've heard that he's been scolded by his boss.

Almost 2 years pass before Christian talks to another colleague about it. By then, he has graduated as a structural engineer, is permanently employed as a project manager in the company, and unfortunately has had another unpleasant experience.

Stress and a project going off track

As a project manager, Christian has a long period where he has difficulty sleeping and has stomach aches. He takes his stress symptoms seriously, tells the management and asks for help in finding a solution. The team leader takes on some of his tasks as a project manager, including designing a building project, but when they are on the construction site, it turns out that the team leader has designed incorrectly.

The project ends up going off the rails financially, the company loses money and Christian is called in for a meeting with the department manager and team leader to talk about what went wrong.

Christian honestly says that he hasn't had enough time to work through the project due to stress, and that's also why he's reached out for help. During the conversation, the team leader doesn't take his share of responsibility, but instead accuses Christian of not having asked for sufficient help.

Christian feels powerless when it's apparently not enough to inform his manager that he can't sleep at night.

Huge relief to share it with a colleague

After this episode, only a month passes before Christian opens up to a colleague.

When he tells a close colleague about his experiences with the team leader, he learns that the colleague has seen the team leader do this many times with other colleagues: 'I finally realise that it’s not me who’s wrong. It’s him who’s doing this to everyone.' The conversation with the colleague becomes an eye-opener and a huge relief for Christian.

Shortly after, he has to start a new project that will put a lot of pressure on him due to his already busy schedule. Christian chooses to hand in his resignation because he knows that he will not get anything constructive out of going to the team leader. At the exit interview with HR, he opens up about the team leader's management style and can also share that others have had similar experiences.

For Christian, staying in the company and taking up the fight has not been a consideration. He has an experience that the HR department has known about the unprofessional management style, but has let it happen.

He has also never completed an APV (workplace assessment, a survey companies are legally required to carry out) during his time at the company. Otherwise, he would have had the opportunity to anonymously point out the unhealthy working environment.

IDA has also spoken to another source who can both confirm Christian's story, but who also has knowledge that at least 5 others have had similar experiences in the company and therefore resigned from their positions.

A few months after Christian resigns, the team leader is promoted to department manager.

'I should have talked to some colleagues much earlier'

As someone new to the labour market, it never occurred to Christian to talk to either a colleague, HR or a representative, such as a health and safety representative (AMR). The team leader's outburst of anger convinced him that he was the one in the wrong.

Looking back, Christian can see that the team leader's behaviour was a form of psychological manipulation. The team leader never directly told the employees that they were not skilled enough, but he still made people feel that way. And in this way, the leader was also able to ensure that the colleagues did not talk about it with each other, because no one has the desire or courage to show off their incompetence.

Now Christian can see that it wasn't the wisest decision to go through these experiences alone: 'I should have talked to some colleagues much earlier.'

In return, he has now decided to tell his story: 'I hope my story can get out and help others.'

Expert on Christian's story: Offensive behaviour in an unhealthy culture

'Of course, it is not okay to be shouted at. It is extremely unpleasant and can be experienced as degrading,' Stephen Holst comments on Christian’s story and continues: 'It is actually an example of what the Danish Working Environment Authority defines as an offensive act.'

The law does not define offensive acts, in Danish krænkende handlinger, themselves as illegal. But it is illegal when organisations fail to respond when they are aware that offensive acts have taken place:

'The most important thing is that you do not stand alone with such an experience. And that is why it is good to talk to a colleague if that is the only option you can see. At the same time, it is not certain that the colleague has the prerequisites to do something about the situation,' says Stephen Holst.

Therefore, he would like to emphasise that when there are experiences of being shouted at in the workplace, it is important that it is addressed in a forum where there is an opportunity to react to it and act on it. And it is precisely here that occupational health and safety representatives or union representatives have an important role.

Your union representative and health and safety representative has full duty of confidentiality, so if you raise concerns with them, these will not be passed on to management.

Stephen Holst believes that Christian's story also points to an unhealthy culture in the company. No one intervenes or follows up with Christian by, for example, asking if he is OK after he was yelled at.

This partly indicates that the company has unfortunately become accustomed to rude and loud behaviour that has been accepted as normal. And it indicates a culture where it is not normal to talk to colleagues about difficult experiences at work.

Such a culture of silence also reinforces Christian's reaction of turning it inward. A reaction that is normal when you are criticised and do not know where to get social and professional support. And especially as someone new to the labour market or new to a job, the most natural reaction for many is to turn it inward and start to doubt their own abilities.

Should you fight or flee?

The first step is to break the silence and not turn your experiences inward. The question then becomes, should you take up the fight against a psychosocially unhealthy work environment or quit your job? Where should you draw the line?

Stephen Holst points out that it can be worth taking up the fight as long as you are not alone in it and as long as there is a constructive way forward where you see that it is possible to change the company from within. But there may also be such great forces at play that it is not possible for you to change the culture.

The feeling of injustice can be a strong motivation that gives energy to the fight. But in the long run, the feeling of injustice can blind your view of everything in the company, so that you lose trust in management in general and perhaps also in your colleagues. Then the fight becomes destructive and is not worth taking.

In the worst case scenario, you could get sick from taking on an impossible task. In that case, quitting is not an escape, but a wise decision to take care of yourself.

4 good tips for those of you who work in a psychosocially unhealthy work environment:

• Never go through unpleasant experiences alone. Talk to a good colleague, your manager, occupational health and safety representative or HR.
• Talk to your colleague if you hear or see that she has experienced something that crosses boundaries.
• Take the fight as long as it is constructive and it is possible to resolve the problem internally via the formalised collaboration channels.
• Take good care of yourself. Consider resigning if you experience symptoms of stress and there is no prospect of getting help and support to deal with the situation.
• Know your right to have a health and safety representative and workplace assessment (APV) and ask your manager, health and safety representative, shop steward or HR for it if it is missing at the workplace.